The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Sorry about my life...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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