omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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