The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
