One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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