you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
