SEEEEXXX PLEASE
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
im on a boat
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