"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
