is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
