so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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