You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize