Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
