Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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