Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
