I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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