Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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