About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
