He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
