Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Shame is for Republicans.
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