do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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