So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
