Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
