when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
