He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
