so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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