Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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