Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
