I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
