you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
