Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
