so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize