i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
