Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he fucked my hip out of place.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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