Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
She's better-looking with the mask on.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
