Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
