he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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