Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
