Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
