shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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