Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
