she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So many bounce houses so little time
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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