before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
