thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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