So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just cropdusted the office
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
