after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
