You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We are two peas in an std pod
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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