Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize