My Higher Power is John Stamos
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
