Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
