If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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