I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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