OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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