is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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