I think I won the penis lottery.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
