I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
i out mim tonsoeep
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
