For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize