i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
