Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
