well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
