i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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