Dual....:-)
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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