I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So much Jack, so little girl.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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