Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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