ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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