Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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