Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
